Monday, May 10, 2010

the truth about my sleepless nights

TRUTH: I usually go to sleep between 3 & 4 am ..wake up at least half a dozen times during the night sometimes for an hour or more & then wake up at 10am!

WHY ???

On most nights my daughter goes to sleep about 12:30ish..I've read all the books & tried lots of different things..with the exception of letting her cry it out which I do not believe in! She always falls asleep nursing & doesn't want to be put down so, that too takes time..I'm often finally free for a few moments around 1-1:30 am..Time that I treasure as my own..well in between her waking up it is at least! Why don't I just go to bed then, you may be wondering? Well, honestly, most nights it's my only chance for a shower, or to catch up on the TV show that my husband doesn't like & I don't want to watch when LO is up . There's also the ease of getting a few things done around the house , taking some time online, & well honestly I don't look at bedtime the same anymore ! It is a job now! I don't get to just relax & rest easy ..I'm on edge wondering when LO is going to wake up again or when she will let go of the boob. She often thinks that my boob is an all night pacifier which obviously makes it hard to sleep! When I signed on to motherhood , I was braced for a few months of sleepless heck they seemed quite novel! I was not quite ready for a couple of years (almost 2!) I often wake up only w/ the aid of caffeine & even then I feel so sleep deprived that I don't dare to drive the family car b/c I don't feel safe. Social engagements are often missed b/c of a wonky nap/ sleep schedule & play dates are hard to make w/ an ever changing nap time & a varied wake up time ..sometimes she's up @ 6am ..ready to go, & others it's more like 11 can I plan anything like this? I'm not saying that I don't love my kid & every other hour of the day she is a dream..a well behaved toddler ( which I know is rare!) I wouldn't trade her for the world & she is the best thing to ever happen to me ..alas..I would like to sleep again soon...How long can a person function like this ?


Robin said...

Only mommies can function like this. I dont think any man can do it.. (yes, I know there are a few, very few who actually do) We had such a great schedule going for a few months and then bam, like that its over.. Now I to am battling getting her to stay in bed, waking up at night and getting up WAY to early. She was up at 615 this morning.. Then the odd napping times that change daily.. She's been alseep for 2 hours now.. I dread tonight. I have no words to help, but just know you are not alone!

punk rock michelle said...

thanks Robin, I'm sorry that you are having a rough time too but, I'm glad I'm not alone! Sometimes it feels like every other kid is perfect sleeper ..or at least my friend's kids seem to be lol

DearDull Diary. said...

Been there and its hard, in the end I did let my eldest cry it out as i got to the point of not coping.
Both girls now sleep well so we are all happier, i was surprised how much my daughters behaviour/eating/development improved once she got some decent sleep.
Hope you get some sleep soonzxx

punk rock michelle said...

thanks! I hope to sleep soon too! We are considering putting her in her own bed next to ours to see if that helps! I'm thinking that maybe if she's not trying to nurse all night we'll both sleep better & in the end I'll be a better mama!