Thursday, April 29, 2010

my C-section story..the real deal

April is Cesarean section awareness month & to celebrate I'm not getting up on a soap box or preaching. I'm just going to tell you how it happened for me. I didn't plan on a c-section. In fact, I didn't even read up on them at all in any of the books that I devoured about pregnancy & childbirth. I was scared to know & in some strange way I thought that by reading about it I would curse myself to having one. I planned a natural childbirth! I may have had a high risk pregnancy but I was determined to go into labor on my own & have my little girl w/o drugs of any kind! That's not exactly what happened & in retrospect I wish that I'd known a lot more about it..& had a plan B! In the U.S. alone more than 30% of all births are Cesarean!

On Tuesday the 15th of July 2008 my labor
was induced b/c of my gestational diabetes ..my mid-wife decided that my blood sugar levels had been bad recently and it was best to get my little girl out soon... I went in @ 4pm and checked in ..they got me all set up in my room and sent the biggest rookie nurse they could find to start my IV ..she was literally shaking like a leaf...and I'm scared enough of needles and what not..She finally got it started after a few pokes ..I bled all over b/c the way she did it and they had to change the bed..I just keep thinking ok ..ok ...labor is going to be worse than this so I'd better be tough ... @ 5pm
the Doc came in and put in the Cervadil ...I hoped that it would be enough to start the show up
that night ....a few moments later my in-laws arrived from New Mexico .....and my hubby left to get them settled at our apt..so I was alone for a few hours ...it sucked...but, at least my contractions had started and were getting closer and stronger ....I toughed it out and didn't take any pain stuff..later on my husband and in-laws came back and kept me company for a while and we played some scrabble ....contractions were still getting stronger and I was hopeful that maybe I'd deliver in the night... after a while everyone left for the night and I was left all alone w/ the pain..I couldn't sleep and cried ..I was scared and lonesome..I was really hating my in-laws at that point for taking my husband away for the night...I needed comfort.. I was up most of the night w/ the exception of a few hours of broken sleep the contractions kept me pretty alert...morning came and the nurses helped me get outta bed and shower ..they let me have a light breakfast ..b/c once the pitocin started I wouldn't be allowed food... @ 8 am they started the pitocin and set it to increase every 20 mins ...ouch!! The contractions got way worse quickly ....still alone I was feeling damn miserable and pissed finally @ 10 am I called my hubby...and asked WTF ..he was doing and when I could expect his presence at the birth of his child..grrr!! He and his father had been up late celebrating and drank too much ..I wanted to kill him ..finally an hour later he got there ..and was actually helpful ..he rubbed my feet and calves, mopped my brow , & brushed my hair as I tried to get through the contractions that were quickly becoming unbearable ..I was still hanging tough w/ no pain meds ...I was cursing pitocin w/ all my might ..and ended up puking a couple of times around 11...while having contractions...ugh..this was getting pretty tough..soon after I was done tossing my cookies my mid-wife decided since I was dilated to almost 3 it was a good time to break my water ..my darling husband got to watch that one ...and soon the contractions got even worse ...around 12:30ish ..the nurses started milling in my room they keep turning me ..thinking that my little girl was just laying on her cord ...but, nothing was helping ...they kept moving the monitors around on my belly to get a better reading ..I wanted to kill them for pushing on my stomach more w/ each contraction....something wasn't right but, I was so outta it w/ pain that I wasn't sure what ..finally the OBGYN came in and had to examine me ..He put what seemed like his whole hand up there and said " we do c-section now!!" They thought that her cord was around her neck.. I started balling ..I had gone thru 20 hours of labor w/ no meds and tried soo hard , and felt like I'd failed some how !! I was soo scared ..It was my worst nightmare I started shaking violently ...trembling w/ terror ...my husband turned pale as can be ..next thing I knew they were shoving a catheter in me mid contraction ..I screamed "frigggin Puppies and kittens !!' a few moments later I was in the operating room getting the spinal anesthesia...everything was going very fast ... strapped in , curtain up ..numbed all the way they finally let my husband in and he sat by my head..as they started ...a few moments later they said hey "got a strong stomach ?" to him ..he said yes and they said "well stand up and see".. He left my side to watch as they pulled our little girl from my now sliced open belly..the nurse named Candy held my hand ...sure enough they said her cord was around her neck.. I heard the cries but, couldn't believe it .."is that my baby crying ? " I kept asking ..waiting to see her ..finally dad cut the cord and they lifted her over the curtain for me to see ...tears of joy spilled onto my face ..I couldn't believe she was finally here..they bundled her up and brought her to me and just held her up to my face to see ..it broke my heart that I couldn't hold her ..but, she was perfect ..6lbsl 2 oz..20 inches long .. they whisked her away to the nursery, w/ my husband in tow .. and started closing me back up ..at one point a splatter of blood hit the curtain and dripped down onto my face..candy , the nurse was nice enough to wipe it away... after about 40 mins they finished and I went off to recovery for an hour ...I was soo upset that I had to wait to hold her but, finally when I did it really was worth every pain , every staple in my stomach ,every thing , she is a miracle!! I stayed up the 1st couple of nights just staring at her in amazement ..so little and perfect I can't believe that I made this pretty little baby!! ' Saya Jane .. born July 16th (her due date) at 2:11 pm ..and too incredible for there to be a language in this world to express it !



& here's what my stomach looked like a few days later...a dozen staples in all..It hurt like hell but, she's worth it all!

4 comments:

Kristine said...

I'm glad you posted the last pic. I've never seen scar pics that close to delivery. That's awesome of you.

punk rock michelle said...

:D Glad that I could share! I just hope I don't freak anyone out..I just thought that the real deal was important to show!

Robin said...

Bought tears to my eyes. It all sounds so scary, but you were strong and made it through.. Saya is perfect and well worth it all!

punk rock michelle said...

thanks so much Robin :D