Thursday, April 29, 2010

my C-section story..the real deal

April is Cesarean section awareness month & to celebrate I'm not getting up on a soap box or preaching. I'm just going to tell you how it happened for me. I didn't plan on a c-section. In fact, I didn't even read up on them at all in any of the books that I devoured about pregnancy & childbirth. I was scared to know & in some strange way I thought that by reading about it I would curse myself to having one. I planned a natural childbirth! I may have had a high risk pregnancy but I was determined to go into labor on my own & have my little girl w/o drugs of any kind! That's not exactly what happened & in retrospect I wish that I'd known a lot more about it..& had a plan B! In the U.S. alone more than 30% of all births are Cesarean!

On Tuesday the 15th of July 2008 my labor
was induced b/c of my gestational diabetes mid-wife decided that my blood sugar levels had been bad recently and it was best to get my little girl out soon... I went in @ 4pm and checked in ..they got me all set up in my room and sent the biggest rookie nurse they could find to start my IV ..she was literally shaking like a leaf...and I'm scared enough of needles and what not..She finally got it started after a few pokes ..I bled all over b/c the way she did it and they had to change the bed..I just keep thinking ok ..ok ...labor is going to be worse than this so I'd better be tough ... @ 5pm
the Doc came in and put in the Cervadil ...I hoped that it would be enough to start the show up
that night ....a few moments later my in-laws arrived from New Mexico .....and my hubby left to get them settled at our I was alone for a few hours sucked...but, at least my contractions had started and were getting closer and stronger ....I toughed it out and didn't take any pain stuff..later on my husband and in-laws came back and kept me company for a while and we played some scrabble ....contractions were still getting stronger and I was hopeful that maybe I'd deliver in the night... after a while everyone left for the night and I was left all alone w/ the pain..I couldn't sleep and cried ..I was scared and lonesome..I was really hating my in-laws at that point for taking my husband away for the night...I needed comfort.. I was up most of the night w/ the exception of a few hours of broken sleep the contractions kept me pretty alert...morning came and the nurses helped me get outta bed and shower ..they let me have a light breakfast ..b/c once the pitocin started I wouldn't be allowed food... @ 8 am they started the pitocin and set it to increase every 20 mins ...ouch!! The contractions got way worse quickly ....still alone I was feeling damn miserable and pissed finally @ 10 am I called my hubby...and asked WTF ..he was doing and when I could expect his presence at the birth of his child..grrr!! He and his father had been up late celebrating and drank too much ..I wanted to kill him ..finally an hour later he got there ..and was actually helpful ..he rubbed my feet and calves, mopped my brow , & brushed my hair as I tried to get through the contractions that were quickly becoming unbearable ..I was still hanging tough w/ no pain meds ...I was cursing pitocin w/ all my might ..and ended up puking a couple of times around 11...while having contractions...ugh..this was getting pretty tough..soon after I was done tossing my cookies my mid-wife decided since I was dilated to almost 3 it was a good time to break my water darling husband got to watch that one ...and soon the contractions got even worse ...around 12:30ish ..the nurses started milling in my room they keep turning me ..thinking that my little girl was just laying on her cord ...but, nothing was helping ...they kept moving the monitors around on my belly to get a better reading ..I wanted to kill them for pushing on my stomach more w/ each contraction....something wasn't right but, I was so outta it w/ pain that I wasn't sure what ..finally the OBGYN came in and had to examine me ..He put what seemed like his whole hand up there and said " we do c-section now!!" They thought that her cord was around her neck.. I started balling ..I had gone thru 20 hours of labor w/ no meds and tried soo hard , and felt like I'd failed some how !! I was soo scared ..It was my worst nightmare I started shaking violently ...trembling w/ terror husband turned pale as can be thing I knew they were shoving a catheter in me mid contraction ..I screamed "frigggin Puppies and kittens !!' a few moments later I was in the operating room getting the spinal anesthesia...everything was going very fast ... strapped in , curtain up ..numbed all the way they finally let my husband in and he sat by my they started ...a few moments later they said hey "got a strong stomach ?" to him ..he said yes and they said "well stand up and see".. He left my side to watch as they pulled our little girl from my now sliced open belly..the nurse named Candy held my hand ...sure enough they said her cord was around her neck.. I heard the cries but, couldn't believe it .."is that my baby crying ? " I kept asking ..waiting to see her ..finally dad cut the cord and they lifted her over the curtain for me to see ...tears of joy spilled onto my face ..I couldn't believe she was finally here..they bundled her up and brought her to me and just held her up to my face to see broke my heart that I couldn't hold her ..but, she was perfect ..6lbsl 2 oz..20 inches long .. they whisked her away to the nursery, w/ my husband in tow .. and started closing me back up one point a splatter of blood hit the curtain and dripped down onto my face..candy , the nurse was nice enough to wipe it away... after about 40 mins they finished and I went off to recovery for an hour ...I was soo upset that I had to wait to hold her but, finally when I did it really was worth every pain , every staple in my stomach ,every thing , she is a miracle!! I stayed up the 1st couple of nights just staring at her in amazement little and perfect I can't believe that I made this pretty little baby!! ' Saya Jane .. born July 16th (her due date) at 2:11 pm ..and too incredible for there to be a language in this world to express it !

& here's what my stomach looked like a few days later...a dozen staples in all..It hurt like hell but, she's worth it all!

Wednesday ..the wordless kind..only late

Wordless Wednesday..better late than never..
Here's a picture of squeaky playing at the Science Center yesterday...& yes she got completely soaked playing in the time we'll bring more clothes

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

the latest

My mother was released from the hospital today ! Thank goodness! They did a million tests on her & she is scheduled for a million more but, at least she is home! She has a ton of new drugs to take & a few diet restrictions. They still aren't sure of what exactly caused it but say that she was having Atrial fibrillation ..wikipedia says that "Atrial fibrillation is often asymptomatic, and is not in itself generally life-threatening, but may result in palpitations, fainting, chest pain, or congestive heart failure. People with AF usually have a significantly increased risk of stroke (up to 7 times that of the general population). Stroke risk increases during AF because blood may pool and form clots in the poorly contracting atria and especially in the left atrial appendage[5] The level of increased risk of stroke depends on the number of additional risk factors. If a person with AF has none, the risk of stroke is similar to that of the general population.[6] (LAA). However, many people with AF do have additional risk factors and AF is a leading cause of stroke.[7] "
Long story short ..she has a lot of changes to make..& we are all pulling for her! This is especially important b/c my father passed away about 6 years ago due to heart problems..He was waiting for a heart transplant & never got, PLEASE IF YOU AREN"T ALREADY AN ORGAN DONOR SIGN UP! My daughter will never know her grandfather, & my wonderful husband never got to meet him or vice versa ..I cried on my wedding day for several reasons of them being that my father would never see it..
alas..I digress

I don't want Saya to have no memories of her grandmother, or for that matter for my mother to miss out on her growing up! I'm going to try to help my mother work on a diet & exercise plan that is still safe for her & do my best to make more healthy changes in my own life so that Saya isn't sitting here in my shoes as a young woman wondering if her mother will be here. I hate to think of my own mortality but, it would kill me not to see her grow up into the amazing person that I know she will be..& I don't want her to do it w/o me...
Cross your fingers for all of us..pretty please!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

a kid needs a granny

This afternoon my mother told me that she’d been having chest pain since yesterday..I asked her why in the hell she hadn’t called her Dr. & long story short ended up forcing her to go to the hospital..I wasn’t about to take no for an answer when a 60 year old woman w/ a # of health issues is having chest pain & shortness of breath ..They instantly admitted her & started running a million tests. They came back & said that it wasn’t a heart attack but possibly angina..or a blood clot in her heart…They are keeping her overnight for observation & to run a million more tests in the morning. She cried when they told her that..& I wanted to cry too. So, send prayers , happy thoughts , good vibes or whatever it is that you do her way please…if not for me, then do it for Saya..she needs her grandma!

Monday, April 26, 2010


This rainy weather reminded me of an art piece that has been out on the art trail for a couple years now..I kinda miss it ..Maybe it's time to rescue it

& as inspiring as a rainy , gloomy day can be ..I'm looking forward to seeing my little garden in bloom ...I can't wait to share it w/ Saya...I'm sure she will be plucking the flowers as fast as they grow & that will be just fine w/ me..Her smile is prettier than any flower that I've seen .

Saturday, April 24, 2010

lollipop , lollipop, oh lolly lolly pop

I gave my 21 daughter her 1st ever lollipop today…It was a mango flavored one & she adored it! I didn’t plan on it but when the lady at the hairdressers asked if she could have one..I thought “well she probably won’t eat it anyway” so, I said yes..& handed it over..She’s been offered candy before but always has turned her nose up..but, somehow today she decided to give it a try & she liked it..& later on was asking for another…yeah , I may have created a monster

Friday, April 23, 2010

Saya has been under the watchful eye of my camera since she popped out & just recently she has really taken a shine to it! When she sees me pull it out she yells "MORE PICTURES", "CAMERA , TAKE A PICTURE MOMMY!" She's even been known to say such things as " I love you camera !" I , of course , reply " & the camera loves you dah-ling!"
This kid seriously cracks me up sometimes...well most times! She has a few super model faces & poses that I have to share ..hope you all enjoy them as much as I do :D

& might I add that ..

Today as we were waking up from a nap together my sweet daughter looked at me & said “pretty mommy” ..oh how it melted my heart…alas it was soon followed by ..”soft & fluffy mommy!”

Thursday, April 22, 2010


It's my first post & of course I'm lost for words..something that is not a common occurrence w/ me ! Wikipedia tells me this:

A blog (a contraction of the term "web log")[1] is a type of website, usually maintained by an individual with regular entries of commentary, descriptions of events, or other material such as graphics or video. Entries are commonly displayed in reverse-chronological order. "Blog" can also be used as a verb, meaning to maintain or add content to a blog.

umm yeah ..very helpful

Rather than ramble on & on, I'll just introduce myself w/ pictures..& let the old saying "a picture is worth a thousand words " be tested :D
They say seeing is believing here I am w/ my happy little family..this picture was taken on Easter after our Easter egg hunt !

& here is a picture of my sweet daughter Saya..she's 21 months old already..I really don't know where the time goes!!